Phase 83 translation script

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Dharko
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Re: Phase 83 translation script

Post by Dharko » Sun Jun 28, 2009 2:07 am

I don´t, but is more accessible than japo and translate it is very easy.
I suppose we can trust in french friends.

PD: So sad some peopple here show us how they bought the new vols. translated and don´t even post a little translate at least to help us to correct ours.
I say: eat your paper copy :evil:

Sorry Moderator, I am angry... :x

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Re: Phase 83 translation script

Post by Sergio Nova » Sun Jun 28, 2009 3:12 am

Unfortunately, you are right! :twisted:

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Re: Phase 83 translation script

Post by crazyankan » Sun Jun 28, 2009 7:27 pm

Tell me when I should start typesetting. I am in typesetting mode today!
Eden - released
Adolf - 2 chapters later this evening
Gunnm - maybe?
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Re: Phase 83 translation script

Post by Sergio Nova » Sun Jun 28, 2009 8:00 pm

crazyankan wrote:Tell me when I should start typesetting. I am in typesetting mode today!
Eden - released
Adolf - 2 chapters later this evening
Gunnm - maybe?
As far as I am concerned, this phase is ready.
Except if Burning Angel, Cailon or Dharko has anything to add…

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Re: Phase 83 translation script

Post by Burning Angel » Sun Jun 28, 2009 8:29 pm

From my part, I'm finished with this phase. Now I'm on phase 84 and 85.

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Re: Phase 83 translation script

Post by crazyankan » Sun Jun 28, 2009 10:07 pm

ok, nice.

Somebody post the script with all the changes.
Hard to typesetting it if you must check all the times if somebody made a change.
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Re: Phase 83 translation script

Post by Sergio Nova » Sun Jun 28, 2009 10:10 pm

crazyankan wrote:ok, nice.

Somebody post the script with all the changes.
Hard to typesetting it if you must check all the times if somebody made a change.
I do believe that, and thus the text is already edited. Do not worry about that!

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Re: Phase 83 translation script

Post by crazyankan » Sun Jun 28, 2009 10:35 pm

Ok. My bad :oops:
I will start on the typesetting tomorrow.
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Re: Phase 83 translation script

Post by Sergio Nova » Mon Jun 29, 2009 1:00 am

Cailon wrote: btw. wasn't it in this chapter, where we discussed the lovely behind of a certain person?^^ I learned kallipygos that time, a nice word...
Back to this adjective (I sincerelly love it! :D )
Please observe it in the most important Western languages:

English - callipygian
Spanish - calipigio/calipigia
Portuguese - calipígio/calipígia
German - ?
French - callipyge

According to the number of speakers, German is the 4th Western language, but I have not been able to find that fascinating adjective in your language. Considering that German is a very useful language to philosophers, and considering that philosophers are usually lecherous (as far as I have seen), the word has to exist in your language. Help me, please!!

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Re: Phase 83 translation script

Post by Dharko » Mon Jun 29, 2009 1:16 am

Well... the scans have the sfx too, so, for me is ready. :wink:

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Re: Phase 83 translation script

Post by Cailon » Mon Jun 29, 2009 6:00 pm

I have nothing to object, either!
I don't have enough free time and willpower at the moment to proofread 84 and 85, but Sergio and Burning Angel are doing a great job! :D


@HumanRage: wow, we are moving with lightning speed, thank you! :D


@Sergio: A most important question. (your post was very funny :) I especally liked the part about lecherous philosophers)
200-100 years ago, germans were crazy about ancient times and tried to do everything right. E.g. in german it is "Vergil" unlike in many other languages, where it is misleadingly "Virgil".
Also with callipygian, the germans tried to be close to the original word (Καλλίπυγος), calling it just "kallipygos" here. So actually there is no real german word for it, translated its "prachthintrig", though (but I suppose for a foreigner this word does not sound very sexy, haha)

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Re: Phase 83 translation script

Post by AOD » Mon Jul 06, 2009 4:00 am

Hi! Allow me to make some minor suggestions to this awesome script!

Page 01
Text left side: Worry about
Text left side: …not taking us seriously. (We have been underestimated)
Text right side: ZOTT semifinal. In a crucial moment!
Title: Phase: 83 Reasons to fight
Box: Semifinal match: Space Karate Allies vs. Genome Kingdom, the Venusian representatives. Homme du Feu has become a great problem to ZOTT sensation and legendary warrior Taraba. Will the acrobatic Rakan break through them?


Page 02
Panel 1
Gerambo: Rakan's “Depleted Uranium” strike…It’s lightning fast!!

Panel 2
Gerambo: A blow suddenly reverses the situation!!
Gerambo: Here he is showing the terror of killing karate!

Panel 3
Gerambo: A decisive blow!!

Panel 4
Rakan: Bin!
Rakan: What?


Page 03
Panel 1
Gerambo: Ahhh!! Rakan dismantles in midair!!
Rakan: Ahhh!! Ohhh!

Panel 2
Gerambo: Whoops! It seems he just re-assembled for a while.
Gerambo: Looks like he’ll make some repairs and return shortly.

Panel 3
Gerambo: Due to Rakan’s withdrawal, Homme du Feu barely escapes the final blow.

Panel 4
Gerambo: Nevertheless, in spite of the failure, will it be a fatal blow?


Page 04
Panel 1
Olympe: Igrec!!

Panel 2
Olympe: Ohhh…

Panel 3
Olympe(?): Can't we talk to them into stopping this fight?!
Pissarro: What are you saying, silly girl?

Panel 4
Olympe: Stop fighting -- please!
Olympe: Igrec is about to die!


Page 5
Panel 1
Pissarro: Shut up!
Pissarro: Sex puppets like you should be seen, not heard!

Panel 2
Pissarro: Relax!
Pissarro: The plan involves him not completely dying.
Pissarro: But under such circumstances…
Pissarro: It seems I’ll play my best hand in the end!!

Panel 3
Olympe: Igrec…
Olympe: …is your reason for fighting
Olympe: … to carry out the plan?
Olympe: To take control of your destiny?


Page 06
Panel 3
Gerambo: Ahh! Toji returns alive from the hell of tentacles!!

Panel 4
Toji: Uhh…


Page 07
Panel 1
Toji: Taraba-dono…!!


Page 08
Panel 2
Pissarro: Come now! Let Homme du Feu receive…

Panel 3
Pissarro: …a new body!!


Page 09
Panel 1
HdF: You’ve used that, wizard Pissarro… …therefore…
HdF: …it’s directed to me…

Panel 2
HdF: My destiny will be to offer my poor life, in exchange for

Panel 3
HdF: …Olympe's!!


Page 10
Panel 1
HdF: Gaaaa!!
HdF: Ahh!!


Page 11
Panel 1
Gerambo: What… what’s that? It’s horrible! Alduína reaction is shocking!!

Panel 2
Toji: Ohhh!

Panel 3:
Hopper: Something’s been thrown from the Venusian side platform… What is it attacking…!?

Panel 4
Hopper(?): Suddenly Alduína looks like something out of a nightmare!! Its appearance has changed!


Page 12
Panel 2
Olympe: What has it done to Igrec!?

Panel 3
Pissarro: Using a Grafting Projectile of vegetal origin combined with PIPT technology, now he's dressed for success!!
Pissarro: Hearken unto him!

Panel 4
Pissarro: Life with nonlife… plant and animal… intelligence and strength…
Pissarro: That is a complete amalgamation of virtues!!


Page 13
Venusian Genome Kingdom’s ultimate creature …!


Page 14
Panel 1
Gerambo: Now it’s like an enormous symbiont. It simultaneously exists and doesn’t!!
Gerambo: I guess the result is a Venusian demon more than 500 meters tall!!

Panel 2
Gerambo: The head’s hitting the ceiling!!

Panel 3
Gerambo: How horrifying… That thing’s invading the entire arena!!


Page 15
Panel 1
Gerambo: Taraba’ll never be able to defeat it…
Gerambo: That werewolf’s got balls… He’s invincible!

Panel 2
Gerambo: But behind that, the one who pulls the strings is Pissarro. It’s like being his slave…
Gerambo: …and to do this, Pissarro’s taken control of his mind!!


Page 16
Nada


Page 17
Panel 1
Pissarro: No doubt, today will be the day when his inside raises completely. (Unsure of what is meant by this. Clarify? What's the gist of the original Japanese?)
Pissarro: Homme Du Feu ,whom you hold in such high esteem -- this will be his final battle!!

Panel 2
Olympe: …final!?
Olympe: I didn’t know he’d die…!

Panel 3
Pissarro: Alduína and Homme du Feu have united on a cellular level. It’s no longer possible to return to their original forms.

Panel 4
Pissarro: Furthermore, the lifespan of this ultimate organism, “Gargantua”, is two hours!!
Pissarro: Hence, even if it wins this battle, it won’t be able to take part in tomorrow's finals.

Panel 6
Pissarro: Obviously I've prepared a great number of reserves. It was already foreseen.
Pissarro I gave him this trial to Zekka, the strongest karateka's team… and this loss will help confirm my hypothesis!!


Page 18
Panel 1
Pissarro: Homme du Feu has completely accepted these tactics!!

Panel 2
Pissarro: That man’s function is, despite his death, to completely annihilate the rivals in the semifinals.
Pissarro: From the beginning, he was born and selected as a warrior only for this fight!

Panel 3
Pissarro: A lot of time and money were invested in him. And, with this confrontation we’ll preserve my company's good reputation!
Pissarro: Come on, let’s cheer for him together!!


Page 19
Panel 2
Olympe: I…just wanted to live in peace with Igrec…
Olympe: …Now I understand that that's an impossible wish

Panel 3
Olympe: We can make plans, but it’s a fact of life: our destiny will not allow us to carry them out…


Page 20
Panel 1
Olympe: But at last I understand…
Olympe: …the true reason why you’ve fought up to now…
Olympe: I was a fool.

Panel 2
Olympe: I’ve just desired happiness while doing nothing.


Page 21
Panel 1
Gerambo: What’s that!?
Gerambo: There’s a gigantic cloud growing!?

Panel 3
Gerambo: The enormous monster’s appearance has strengthened at the great cost of exceeding its limits…
Gerambo(?):The core of electromagnetic karate is the manipulation of the latent electromagnetic aura that permeates all things!!


Page 22
Panel 1
Pissarro:
In the field, I don't usually allow myself to splurge on these atrocious techniques of mass destruction while in the presence of allies.

Panel 2
Pissarro: But now I’ll do it! The seal will be opened!!!


Page 23
Panel 1
Pissarro: I’ll show them the glory of my final destiny in the form of a lovely posy!!


Page 24
Panel 1
Pissarro: What…
Pissarro: …what are you doing… Olympe…
Pissarro: Drop that! It’s dangerous. Tell me why…

Panel 2
Olympe: You said that my tears are fake…
Olympe: …but…

Panel 3
Olympe: …now my tears and your blood will be shed for both his good and mine.


Page 25
Text: Every battle has its climax!

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Sergio Nova
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Re: Phase 83 translation script

Post by Sergio Nova » Mon Jul 06, 2009 11:22 am

Please, let me know: have you taken your notes straight from Japanese or from the Spanish version?

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Re: Phase 83 translation script

Post by AOD » Mon Jul 06, 2009 2:34 pm

I've just taken the script posted earlier in this thread and revised it a bit to be more natural-seeming in English.

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Re: Phase 83 translation script

Post by Dharko » Mon Jul 06, 2009 7:02 pm

mmm... dejavú...

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Re: Phase 83 translation script

Post by Cailon » Thu Jul 09, 2009 9:11 pm

Hey AOD, I've finally completely read your changes! I have only two interventions, what do you say:

white: current script
red: AODs changes


Page 5
Panel 1
Pissarro: Go back to your social position as a puppet lover!!
Pissarro: Sex puppets like you should be seen, not heard!

-----> I think "Sex puppet" is too hard. Olympe wasn't a sexx-doll to Igrec (ok, he tried once, very unsuccessfully), she was a tool for Igrecs mental growth. But "puppet-lover" seems to be wrong, too, as Olypme IS the puppet, so Igrec is the "puppet lover". Maybe just "puppet" then? "Go back to your social position as a puppet!!" Imo it would fit and its not too harsh.


Page 09
Panel 2
HdF: My destiny will be to offer my poor life, in exchange for

Panel 3
HdF: …Olympe’s good!!
HdF: …Olympe's!!

----------> here, I don't know what the better english would be, but I like "Olypmes good" more ;)

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Re: Phase 83 translation script

Post by Burning Angel » Thu Jul 09, 2009 10:22 pm

Can I join the discussion?
Page 5
Panel 1
Pissarro: Go back to your social position as a puppet lover!!
Pissarro: Sex puppets like you should be seen, not heard!

-----> I think "Sex puppet" is too hard. Olympe wasn't a sexx-doll to Igrec (ok, he tried once, very unsuccessfully), she was a tool for Igrecs mental growth. But "puppet-lover" seems to be wrong, too, as Olypme IS the puppet, so Igrec is the "puppet lover". Maybe just "puppet" then? "Go back to your social position as a puppet!!" Imo it would fit and its not too harsh.

Here is posible alternative to "Sex puppet": Gynoid (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gynoid)

Although I don't understand why "sex puppet" is harsh. Is agalmatophilia (sexual attraction to a statue, doll, mannequin; doll fetish) or technosexuality really so bad? I don't practice it myself, but it is very extended in manga/anime, for example, Chobits.

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Re: Phase 83 translation script

Post by AOD » Fri Jul 10, 2009 4:29 am

Gynoid is a good one, I'd be willing to go with that. I understand that a "lover who is a puppet" would be literally translated as "puppet lover" but it sounds a bit clumsy to my ears. Like a "puppet lover" could be someone who loves puppets, which is why I took the sexual meaning of "lover".

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Re: Phase 83 translation script

Post by Cailon » Fri Jul 10, 2009 7:28 am

Hm ok but then we'd have to provide the link to Gynoid as well in the script, otherwise people don't know what that is.

@Sex doll: Well, ther is a difference between this: http://greenlanternpress.files.wordpres ... _small.jpg

And this: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_NytN3qaDdxY/R ... r-life.jpg
No one would say that Pygmalion was attracted to a sex doll, but a statue. Olympe is not a sex doll, but an android. Her main purpose is not being a sperm-bank, but a tool for education. Thats why I found Sex doll too hard.

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Re: Phase 83 translation script

Post by Sergio Nova » Fri Jul 10, 2009 10:45 am

Cailon wrote:Hm ok but then we'd have to provide the link to Gynoid as well in the script, otherwise people don't know what that is.
Actually, I see gynoid as a female robot, simply, not a plaything.
Cailon wrote:Olympe is not a sex doll, but an android. Her main purpose is not being a sperm-bank, but a tool for education. Thats why I found Sex doll too hard.
Exactly. Thus I will accept your suggestion and call her "puppet", simply.

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Re: Phase 83 translation script

Post by Sergio Nova » Fri Jul 10, 2009 11:10 am

Text edited.
I have arranged this final version considering AOD's notes and Burning Angel's/Cailon observations.

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Re: Phase 83 translation script

Post by AOD » Fri Jul 10, 2009 3:53 pm

I'm a bit disappointed that you decided not to incorporate some of my suggestions, most specifically:

Olympe(?): Talk to the rival about the possibility of stopping the fight…!

This does not sound like good English to me.

Can we make it:

Talk to the opponent about possibly stopping the fight…!

Could I actually have an explanation of the sense of the Japanese version? Because it seems like there's a few concepts that Olympe wants to express:

1) Talking to the opponent (or opposing team?)

2) Stopping the fight

3) That it is a possibility.

In that vein, I'd like it to be something that is similar to what a real person speaking English would say. Like:

Please!! Talk to the opponent -- isn't it possible to stop this fight?!

In my mind, though this is less word-for-word a translation, it makes up for it in expressing roughly the same idea, but sounding far more natural in English.

Also:

Can we have it as


Ahh! Rakan disassembles in midair!

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Re: Phase 83 translation script

Post by AOD » Fri Jul 10, 2009 4:09 pm

Any word on the typesetting by the way? I think that, aside from a few minor issues, the script we have out right now is pretty good. I'd like a release soon!

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Re: Phase 83 translation script

Post by Cailon » Fri Jul 10, 2009 8:13 pm

Wut? I'm confused now, the scanlation has a completely different text... :?: :?

Is it just "our" forum's version?

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Re: Phase 83 translation script

Post by crazyankan » Fri Jul 10, 2009 8:56 pm

cailon: I have talked to a guy that nicknames paulroyal at this forum.
he told me that he and his team wanted to translate some chapters.
Over the years I have heard many promises that peoples didn't fulfilled.
that is why I didn't tell so many peoples that some other guys was working with the chapters.
I had to make a choise. Double work or maybe not a release at all. And I hope everybody agrees that I made the right choise.
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