Gunnm Complete Edition extra pages: TL, QC and editing

[Sergio Nova]

Meantime, I will be working on volume 2.
litchi master has already started the translation.

[Burning Angel]

Almost done with the corrections. But I have a question: Shouldn't the names of the Panzer Kunst techniques be in German, not in Japanese?

[Sergio Nova]

Almost done with the corrections. But I have a question: Shouldn't the names of the Panzer Kunst techniques be in German, not in Japanese?

That is an interesting point. And the most absurd of all is that you are the first one to observe that. It seems we are a team of absent-minded soldiers. With a platoon like ours, the war starts lost.

Anyway, it is Kishiro's gaffe.

[litchi master]

Just a quick comment before my exams
I had noticed too, even in the BAA memory of mars if you pay attention, there is no mention of Panzer kunst or kunstler but kiku jutsu and kiku jutsuka. it had surprised me at the time, but I had not paid much attention.
Now that you mention it I think that as Gunnm is not a big hit in Japan, they may have translated the names of the techniques to be made more Japanese friendly. or as these are preliminary sketches he may not have had time to translate the names into German.

[Burning Angel]

Ok, here are the changes I made for now. I will keep looking for more mistakes. The place where I found mistakes are highlighted in red. And my corrections are in between ().

Page 01


The following pages will present you Yukito Kishiro’s work on Battle Angel Alita by showing you many ideas, memos and sketches. This work does not concern solely the set (only involve the work) presented in the manga, since it also refers to the novel, to the anime, as well as to the video game that have been dedicated to Battle Angel Alita. Each of these works presents some aspects somewhat different from the original story, but all keep the themes and the main characters that made the strength of the manga. The creation of the complex universe of Battle Angel Alita asks Yukito Kishiro to work out every detail, where each sketch and every idea contributes its part to a sound development. Of all roads that he borrowed, of all hypotheses that he considered, he finally extracted the best, arriving to the definitive result as we know today. Therefore, in this complete edition of Battle Angel Alita, we are presenting to you his previous work. Besides numerous preparatory drawings (sketches), with the passing of the pages you will also find the elements that will allow you to better understand this futuristic world created by Yukito Kishiro. Among the presented documents are also included some discarded ideas, abandoned scenarios, failed attempts and obvious mistakes. Which is far, considering their unpublished character, from lowering their great value. (Which, considering their unpublished nature, is far from lowering their great value.) So, enjoy! (the editors)


Page 02-03

Battle Angel Alita history

This chronology has been created by Yukito Kishiro himself. It somewhat comments, in a condensed way, the major episodes in the story of Battle Angel Alita and previously surrounds the terms and the names that will be present until the end of the set (story). This tool is of a precious (great) interest, since it allows understanding the plot that is woven in the manga – as the pictures, the close shots and the setting not always unveil by itself. (the editors)

As a reference, this chronology has the year of Koyomi’s birth. One will notice the abbreviation A.K. for Anno Koyomi and B.K. for Before Koyomi (years before her birth).

B.K. unknown date
Creation of Melchizedek, an artificial intelligence computer, somewhere in North America.

B.K. unknown date
Ecological disaster without precedents: an enormous meteoroid falls on the Earth. The power is such that the poles deviate from their axis, what has the effect of modifying the terrestrial peel and making to bring up the level of the oceans (which causes geological transformations and raises the sea level). The civilizations collapse, the humanity is very close to the extinction (Civilization collapses and humanity is on the brink of exinction).

B.K. 440
Implementation of the project for humankind reconstruction by Melchizedek. The operation is a success, a new civilization soon emerging somewhere in North America.

B.K. 370
Melchizedek establishes two colonies of builders; one in terrestrial orbit, the other one on the Moon.

B.K. 345
Completion of “Jacob’s Ladder”, orbital ring joined to the Earth by a tower lift named “elevator.” (Completion of the orbital ring connected to the Earth by a space elevator called “Jacob’s Ladder.”)

B.K. 340
First rocket propelled with nuclear fusion on a helium-3 basis. (First rocket propelled with nuclear fusion, using helium-3 as fuel).

B.K. 330
First colony on Mars.

B.K. 315
A colony settles in the orbit of Venus. Beginning of the terraforming on Venus.

B.K. 300
Establishment of colonies on three Jovian satellites. To this time (By now), the techniques of cybernetization improve.

B.K. 290
On Mars, arousal of the “cyborgs martial arts.” (Panzer Kunst is created on Mars)


B.K. 260
Alliance of the colonies (The Jupiter Federation?) on the Galileo Satellites that grants agreements (agrees) to set in motion (construct) a troposphere (toposphere) on the planet.

B.K. 230
Melchizedek finishes the construction of the orbital elevator, placing (in each end) the space station “Ketheres” and the terrestrial station “Tiphares” at the extremities.

B.K. 220
Melchizedek elaborates (develops) the first interstellar vessels. In the same period, construction (begins) of a satellite to production of antimatter (that produces anti-matter) on the low orbit of the Sun. Yoko is born on Mars.

B.K. 205
The settlers on Venus (Venus government) send a team of research on (sends a research team to) Enceladus, a satellite of Saturn. This team is taken (attacked) by Jovian military forces. “The incident of Enceladus” was the detonator (trigger) of the “terraforming wars” or the “wars of colonies.” (the “Terraforming Wars” or the “Wars of the Colonies.”)

B.K. 200
The interstellar vessels in construction are destroyed. Melchizedek closes itself. Tiphares isolates itself to the outside world. Thanks to the formation of “Ladder” in Ketheres, the terraforming wars (Terraforming Wars) end. Yoko disappears rightly (right) before the armistice.

B.K. 195
The first Factories appear. Undergoing (Due to) a strong repression, the teachings of the cyborgs martial arts die out little by little (Panzer Kunst is eventually dies out and is forgotten).

B.K. 180
A city begins to develop around The Factories.

B.K. 170
The population increases. The city is soon called “The Scrapyard”, the discharge (???Discharge???).

B.K. 160
The terminals and the systems of defense are introduced in The Scrapyard to look after the protection of The Factories.

B.K. 150
In the underground of The Scrapyard, fights of cyborgs begin to be organized (In The Scrapyard, underground cyborg fights start to be organized).

B.K. 130
The first circuit of motorbal (Motorball circuit) is finished in the West Zone.

B.K. 50
The hydro-wall is installed everywhere around the borders of The Scrapyard.

B.K. 16
Nova runs away (escapes) from Tiphares.

B.K. 15
Hugo is born.

B.K. 14
Kaos is born.

B.K. 7
Ido is banished from Tiphares.

B.K. 6
To the motorball (In Motorball), the Adam’s scandal explodes. (See “Ashen Victor”). Ido meets Carole. (See “Holy Night”).

B.K. 5
In one match of motorball, Jashugan and Esdoc are taken in (suffer) a terrifying accident. Jashugan suffers a cerebral reconstruction operated by Nova and becomes thereafter the champion. Hugo’s elder brother is slaughtered by Clive Lee, a hunter-warrior.

B.K. 3
Nova invents a wormlike body for Makaku. Hugo meets Vector and orders to transplant his brother’s hand in return for his.

B.K. 1
In order to concretize the “tuned” (“Tuned”) project, Bigot (Bigott) sends a thousand of TR-55 (TR-55’s) to spy on The Scrapyard.

A.K. Year 0
Yoko is discovered by Ido. He will bring her back to life and name her Alita. Koyomi is born. Alita becomes a hunter-warrior and defeats Makaku.

A.K. 2
Alita falls in love with Hugo. Unfortunately, the lad (kid) dies in tragic circumstances. Alita then becomes a motorballer and books (has) a duel to death against Jashugan. In the discharge, a price is put on Zapan’s head.

A.K. 3
(The) Opening of the “New Kansas Bar.” Shumira is saved by Ido of (from) a rape attempt. Alita begins her new life. She delivers (has) a duel to death against “The Sonic Finger.” (See “The Sonic Finger”). Nova frees Den, Kaos’ black (dark) personality, and gives him a body of steel. Becoming a warrior, Den starts wandering on the outskirts of the border (badlands) for continuation (in search) of his destiny.

A.K. 4
Kaos heads towards the border (badlands) in company of Jasmine. Alita ends up destroying Zapan and the berserker body. Ido dies. Shumira enters into a brigade of volunteers. Alita accepts to become “tuned” (“Tuned”) for Tiphares.

A.K. 5
Nova finishes the construction of his secret research laboratory, that he baptizes “Granite Inn.”

A.K. 6
Nova “resurrects” Ido.

A.K. 9
Den forms The Barjack. In the same period “Radio Kaos” emits for the first time. Construction of The Barjack headquarters in the Southern Territories. Ido, when learning the “secret of Tiphares”, sinks in pain and decides to voluntarily erase his memory.

A.K. 10
Deckman 50 deserts. A-1 is entrusted to the mission. (See “Homecoming”).

A.K. 11
Buick becomes The Barjack’s reporter.

A.K. 12
Colonel Bozzle capitulates before The Barjack. Figure Four, expert in anti-cyber martial arts, arrives to The Scrapyard. Ido begins a new life as a physician in Farm 21, occupied by The Barjack.

A.K. 14
Alita meets Figure Four. The nuclear reactor of the train in which they are explodes. Lou Collins turns her back on the GIB as an operator. Koyomi joins the cause of The Barjack. Alita recovers (finds) Ido. The production of the “tuned” begins in series (“Tuned” series begins). The Barjack rebellion is repressed (crushed). The GIB is liquidated (destroyed). Nova “revives” Alita and takes that on Tiphares. Melchizedek, in a fit (an attack) of madness, commits suicide, tempting to drag Tiphares in its loss (trying to bring down Tiphares). To prevent the destruction of Tiphares, Alita sacrifices merging herself (sacrifices herself by merging) with the orbital elevator and transforms the whole structure into a “nanotree.”

A.K. 15
Kaos and Vector take the control of The Scrapyard, that (which) had sunk in (into) anarchy. The construction of the “tower of Tiphares” begins.

A.K. 16
(Koyomi publishes) Release of “Barjack, War Chronicles”, by Koyomi, that very quickly becomes a bestseller. (The) Opening of a new “Kansas Bar”, the “Kansas 4.”

A.K. 19
The “tower of Tiphares” is finished. Lou marries Kaos. Alita, whom everybody believed dead, comes back to life. She falls in the arms of Figure Four, who comes to rescue her. (The publishing) Release of “The Celestial Tower”, (a) compilation of photos.

Page 04

Deckman
New definition of the deckmen for the “Battle Angel Alita video game”

Former human beings deprived (striped) of their useless body parts, deckmen are half autonomous (semi-autonomous) robotized units used for the treatment of information. One may think that they were created to work within The Factories in The Scrapyard, but their origin dates back way (much) further. Actually, their first function was to explore the vastness of the solar system. The exploitation of the first deckmen goes back up to about 300 years. At the time, the cybernetic technologies had just been mastered, but rather than substituting a thinking machine for a man (or, more precisely, for his brain) the deckman technology consisted in modifying a machine by inserting a brain and different body parts in it. Eventually, it was (became) the opposite of cyborg making (making cyborgs).

In the societies of the solar system, it was necessary to have an organic translation device between relational interfaces, operating systems and data bases. The great advantage of deckmen was their abilities (ability) of adaptation, and especially the compatibility between them, whether it was the most up to date model, version 96.2, or the most ancient one that is more than 200 years old.

The central computer Melchizedek established the standards for deckmen. For 300 years, it has invariably controlled their manufacture and maintenance. Because of their success, the exportation of deckmen has become the biggest source of income of Ketheres. Nowadays, the only official deckmen manufacturers are Melchizedek and its extension, the M.I.B.; however, some people claim that compatible deckmen would be (are being) secretly produced on Venus and Jupiter.

In the developed colonies on Mars, there are still regions where the first generation deckmen, dating back more than 200 years, are still in use (there are regions that still use first generation deckmen that date back more than 200 years). Yet most of the older deckmen, whose faculties have diminished, no longer connect themselves to the networks (are no longer connected to the networks), their role (roles) being now reduced to simple operations, such as, for instance, signaling control. In the most forsaken regions, one may even happen to find completely rusty deckmen standing still like mechanical gods, benevolent protectors of the passing colonists.
Yukito Kishiro

Page 05

The Scrapyard map

Here is the map of the region where Alita’s adventures take place. The Facotories numbers can track her progress through the episodes (chapters).

Tiphares overlooking the ¿¿¿discharge???
Hydro-wall
Discharge

The sketches of this double page were executed (drawn) between the beginning of the series and the end of the episode concerning (chapter involving) Makaku. By comparing these with the drawings on the three following pages (Battle Angel Alita prototype), one notices a few differences most notably on the approach to the character of Alita. (the editors)

1. Inspired by the original model, Alita in action
2. Studies of action poses
3. Studies for the action of the first fight. “Ganjutsu”, a temporary name for the fighting style, will later be replaced by Panzer Kunst.
4. A prototype for a “cyber-arm”. By the look of it, it seems efficient.
5. Formation of an Alita-Ido duet team?
6. A rather lyrical drawing
7. Ideas for ordinary outfits, from classical to sportswear
8. Combat suits variations, as it was already the case in #7, there are a few images and expressions that were later abandoned.
9. A few sketches of Ido. His character has been defined from the very beginning, and as Yukito Kishiro notes, his good side is not everything there is about him (he may not be as good as he seems).
10. Doctor Nova as he was drawn at approximately the same period as sketches n°11. Was he only supposed to be a secondary character, a mere doctor? The mark of Tiphares on his forehead leads us to think that Yukito Kishiro already had his story in mind at the time.
11. Sketches of Makaku as a child
12. Sketches of Kinuba
13. Sketches of Zapan
14 & 15. Sketches of Makaku, His worm body was already present.


{{COMMENTARIES INSIDE CASES}}
5 little “side” Black Alita
9 (From left to right)
Iron Fist
Rocket Hammer

Ido: He is not a good man only (is not a simple man). His personality is more complex, as a part of himself can lead him to act in extreme violence.

13 Zapan, a hunter warrior.

Page 08-09

Prototype of Alita
It was originally a short story with a plot that was utterly different from the published BAA series. This story, to which the present plot was preferred, has never come to be released (Since the present plot was preferred, this story has never been released). Yukito Kishiro drew these plates (designs) and added several sketches and explanatory notes before he presented the project to his editor. Some of the names such as “Tuned”, “Yoko” as well as some devices (Unocycle) were re-used almost as such in the final version of the series.

{{cursive text}}
Post atomic calendar year 106. Kyanton, a great economic power is ruled by the AIC, one of the largest multinational companies. Katoly, the capital, has become a dangerous city, some even named it “the capital of crime” because of the ever dwindling control it exerts over the applications of cybernetic technologies.
Security is no longer guaranteed and the police forces are too scanty (weak) to hope to re-establish order. A new institution is then set in place determined with the purpose of putting an end to criminal activities. Its agents, placed above police authority, are cyborgs armed to the teeth and bounty hunters (cyborg bounty hunters, armed to the teeth). They are called “tuned” (“Tuned”).


page 10 (page 11 with no text)
“Holy Knight” (“Holy Night”), the new Battle Angel Alita story
Holy Knight (Holy Night) has its origins in a Christmas tale written during autumn of the year 1989.
In the final version of the story, I kept the main idea: that is, the relationship between the giant cyborg and the clone girl as well as the cyborg’s design, among other things. Beware this has nothing to do with Dolly the cloned sheep. In the beginning I thought I would draw a story about 30 pages long, but as I wanted to develop the concept of Ido’s consciousness as a doctor, Holy Knight (Holy Night) has become longer than expected.

*tl-note: The scanlation used “Sweet Knight” (“Sweet Night”), but it refers to Christmas, thus “Holy Night” would be correct.

pages 14-15

Panzer Kunst Collection vol.1

Here is one of the memos (are some of the notes) including both drawing and part of the scenario I made for the “Martian Memory” game for the Sony Playstation. Originally, the project dates back to the autumn of 1995. Not having been able to develop the space saga part of my manga, I started to think about it for a role playing game. I thus devised a project and presented it to a video game firm. In the beginning, the game was supposed to be a 2D game with multiple endings and a multi layered universe, but it was eventually decided to make a 3D game for the Playstation. As I had written the scenario and developed certain of the ideas before the project was decided to be adapted as a video game, some of the elements were not kept for the final version.


Kumai Sharin Kyaku: fight 1 (aerial anti giant technique)

caption: leaning on her hands_ to arrow upwards _ perform a few skips_ and Alita attacks with both legs extended // using her hands_to shoot upwards_(Alita) perform a few skips_then Alita attacks with both leg extended

page 15

Thunderbolt: fight 10 (a technique that can be used with the berserker or imaginos body) theoretically, this technique can (can’t) be applied indoors, but in the game it works equally well in the basement and outside.

Page 19
Here are some “findings” (“ideas”) for Alita, still in the context of the Playstation’s video game “Gunnm - Martian memories”. Needless to say that, being a cyborg, her mechanical body can be infinitely modified. From weapons to means of transportation, it can adapt to each situation. Now, it is up to you to decide! (The editors)

[Sergio Nova]

Text edited. I have some points to comment:

B.K. 290
On Mars, arousal of the “cyborgs martial arts.” (Panzer Kunst is created on Mars)
I agree your solution is better, but the French text is exactly that:
Sur Mars, apparition des “arts martiaux cyborgs”.

B.K. 205
The settlers on Venus (Venus government) send a research team to Enceladus, a satellite of Saturn.
Settlers are not necessarily the government.

B.K. 195
The first Factories appear. Due to a strong repression, the teachings of the cyborgs martial arts die out little by little (Panzer Kunst is eventually dies out and is forgotten).
The French text says:
Subissant une fort répression, les enseignements des arts martiaux cyborgs s’éteignement peu à peu.

B.K. 170
The population increases. The city is soon called “The Scrapyard”, the discharge (???Discharge???).

Actually, The Scrapyard is a scrap iron, the place where such trash is discharged, or even a garbage dump.

B.K. 130
The first motorball circuit is finished in the West Zone.
Motorball is a sport. There is no reason to be capitalized.

some people claim that compatible deckmen would be secretly produced on Venus and Jupiter.
If I understood well, they are not affirming, but speculating.

Thunderbolt: fight 10 (a technique that can be used with the berserker or imaginos body) theoretically, this technique can be applied indoors, but in the game it works equally well in the basement and outside.
The original text says:
En théorie, cette technique ne peut s'appliquer en intérieur, mais dans le jeu vidéo, elle fonctionne aussi bien en sous-sol qu'à l'extérieur.

[Burning Angel]

Thunderbolt: fight 10 (a technique that can be used with the berserker or imaginos body) theoretically, this technique can be applied indoors, but in the game it works equally well in the basement and outside.
The original text says:
En théorie, cette technique ne peut s'appliquer en intérieur, mais dans le jeu vidéo, elle fonctionne aussi bien en sous-sol qu'à l'extérieur.

En théorie, cette technique ne peut s'appliquer en intérieur, mais dans le jeu vidéo, elle fonctionne aussi bien en sous-sol qu'à l'extérieur.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I believe that "ne" in french is a negative.

[Sergio Nova]

You won!

[Burning Angel]

And when will Gunnm Works volume 1 be ready?

[Sergio Nova]

And when will Gunnm Works volume 1 be ready?

Now it depends on crazyankan's availability. And the task is not that simple.

[crazyankan]

My priorities right now.
1: Partying this weekend. Celebrating that I turned 25 yesterday.
2: School
3: Finishing G Senjou heavens door
4: Start doing this task

So I will probably start on Monday.

[Sergio Nova]

1: Partying this weekend. Celebrating that I turned 25 yesterday.

Happy birthday!

[crazyankan]

1: Partying this weekend. Celebrating that I turned 25 yesterday.

Happy birthday!

Many thanks
Going to celebrate it with baking cakes and getting drunk =P

[Cailon]

My priorities right now.
1: Partying this weekend. Celebrating that I turned 25 yesterday.
2: School
3: Finishing G Senjou heavens door
4: Start doing this task

So I will probably start on Monday.

Happy Birthday mate! I don't think you can meet your masterplan though. Too much beer will get in your way (hopefully only one-way)

[Sergio Nova]

Hey, crazy, have you got news about this?

[Lemonlol]

(He's still trying to get sober, but shhhh- ! )

He asked me to clean the pages, but I've already got ch99 to do, to be up-to-date with the releases. Then vol14 to finish (1 remaining chapter + all the extra pages), and only then, Complete Edition vol1. And if any new chapter comes out, it becomes my new top priority. So, yeah, it will take some time...

My priorities right now.
1: Partying this weekend. Celebrating that I turned 25 yesterday.

Oh god... I'd like to party in Sweden .

[crazyankan]

My priorities right now.
1: Partying this weekend. Celebrating that I turned 25 yesterday.

Oh god... I'd like to party in Sweden .[/quote]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noKgDhVygFo

[Lemonlol]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noKgDhVygFo

I think I broke my wrist while watching... Too bad, no more Photoshop for me .

[litchi master]

Hi everyone it seems the latest news are dark indeed with the feud between yukito kishiro and Ultra jump, and thus the stop in the publication of Glo, the downfall of One manga and other scan trad sites,and the death of Satoshi Kon.
So I thought I might provide a bit on sunshine on the forum by continuing the work-inprogress-translation of the art book.
While I was away from civilisation working, without the internet I took advantage of my spare time to advance the translation of volume 2 p8 & 9. I left the translation of the moves to Lemonlol because he 's more skilled than I am for the translation of fighting techniques . However I'll provide assistance when the time comes to translate them.

[litchi master]

So at this point of the artbook the lay out of the page is as follows : an upper band of texts which spans across the two pages followed by the lower part which uses the same pattern.
But before I start properly I'lll translate the black box on top of page nine.

Enemies and monsters
here is a descriptive list of enemy characters entirely made by Yukito Kishirofor the Gunnm Memory of Mars video game on playstation. Numerous characters were originally part of the the 2D role playing game. One can also find characters from the manga which were remade/ redrawn for the video game. The editor
(maybe the yokozuna as a modified version of balzard, Nova's mutant assistant, my hypothesis)

next time I'll start from the top of page 8

Creatures of Chaos.

[Lemonlol]

The names were corrected, but:

1. Skaramasakus remains the French version (Scramasax);
2. Yorg must be anglicized Yolg;
3. Lam Daka must be anglicized Lam Dao;
4. Zafal Takié is missing the accent;
5. Bigott Eisenberg must be anglicized Bigott Eizenburg;
6. Barzarlad must be anglicized Bazarld.

Items 2, 3, 5 and 6 are my fault, as I hadn't seen them before.

I think Viz / Glenat are just regular people trying to translate each and every manga they are given to translate. Usually, they do right, but sometimes, they can make mistakes or take arbitrary decisions that we, readers, can't understand the reason(s) behind.

I have no idea why Viz decided to name the guy "Skaramasakus". I guess the japanese kanjis are read "Sukaramasakus" and Viz anglicized it by removing the first "u". Actually, "Scramasax" really exist(ed) ("For articles about sex, see Sex (disambiguation)." ).

It's the same for Gally / Alita. Why did they change her name ? Dunno, and I guess it's meaningless to try to guess why. I think you (Ripper's Anime in its whole) should have kept Kishiro's names (he's the original author, right ?) instead of Viz' names (they're just trying to change names in order to appeal more people, I guess). Are you willing to stick to the original author's work, or stick to the possible errors of an editor ? If we are to put errors in the scanlations, I'd rather we put OUR errors, rather than the errors of others, without really knowing why.

... but that's just a suggestion... You're all free to choose, I'll agree with the final decision, whatever it is.

[Sergio Nova]

I do understand your points, but I believe that ^Ripper has opted for maintaining Viz's nomenclature in order to preserve a standard. As you are aware, the HFV available in this site is Viz's first edition. Even if it were the second, there would be no difference, as all the errors remain there (Karashnikoff instead of Kalashnikov, Beltram instead of Bertram, and so on). They did NOT correct anything. The only difference is that the first edition is adapted to Western reading while the second one is not.

Thus, Skaramasakus/Scramasax is just another gaffe. In our case, correcting names would make some readers confused, as the only reference they have is Viz's edition.

As to Glénat, well, as far as I have noticed (all right, I cannot read French, anyway), their nomenclature is much more honest than Viz's.

As to the Gally/Alita quest, check my glossary: Alita is the Arabic name of the goddess Venus. It seems there is a lack of information from American translators here, once she is Martian. Gally sounds to me as a feminization of Garry, an English name meaning spearbringer. As an English verb, gally means frighten, terrify.

In short, Gally makes much more sense (and, anyway, it is the name chosen by the author).
By the way, I will include your note about the name Scramasax in the next glossary edition, if you don not mind.

[Sergio Nova]

Commenting on pages 04-05

line 4 - Former human beings deprived of their useless body parts, deckmen are half autonomous robotized units used for the treatment of information. (missing space after period)

lines 13-14 - …but rather than substituting a thinking machine for a man (or more precisely for his brain) the deckman technology… (missing space before the opening parenthesis and after the closing parenthesis)

line 21 - …operating systems and databases. (compound, one word)

line 33 - Because of their success, the exportation of deckmen has become the biggest source of income of Ketheres. (Is this construction correct? I am nort sure, but probably Ketheres income source or income source to Ketheres would be more precise. I hope someone else will comment on this.)

line 36 - Nowadays, the only official deckmen manufacturers are Melchizedeck and its extenmsion, the M.I.B. (1. Missing comma after adverb; 2. excessive comma. If the problem is the previous period, I suggest a semicolon.)

note: This note was thought for the video game… (noun)

the second graphic:
A cleaning system using static electricity always leaves the hall as clean as the inside of a hospital (usage of conjunction)


On the right side (page 5)

Tiphares looking down on the dumps (city name should read as the standard)

Just below the compass card, spelling should read Kombinat.

[Lemonlol]

Isn't the 1st post of this thread proofread ? I lazily take it as the final script and typeset everything in it. Well, when some translations are missing, I add it on my own, which can't be proofread...

[Sergio Nova]

Isn't the 1st post of this thread proofread ? I lazily take it as the final script and typeset everything in it. Well, when some translations are missing, I add it on my own, which can't be proofread...

I agree about the translation, but about the typing mistakes… well, they are typing mistakes, simply. If you simply copied and pasted, I was sleeping like a corpse, then.