GLO 112 Translation Script

[ashod]

Page 1

Phase.112 Alita quest 1

Still waiting for the return of his armored bride
Alita’s lover Figure Four’s journey begins


Page 2

This story takes place 11 months before.

“People were living eagerly on the surface, very far from the mayhem in space”


Page 3

Alhambra, fishing village of the badlands

Page 4

Figure Four
Tauro Four

Tauro : Number 7 !!

Page 5

Tauro : Number 3 !! Number 10 !!

Tauro : You seem to have mastered the « penetration » as well.
Ok then, should we go to the next level!!

Figure : The next level?

Page 6

Tauro : Orya!

Figure : “Choke” won’t work on a cyborg enemy Master!

Tauro : You’re naïve, your opponents won’t be just cyobrgs!!

Tauro : I’ll fully teach you how to pin down your enemies, so be prepared!!

Figure : Ugyaaaaa

Page 7

Tauro : Hey Figure, you won’t change your mind about making a cyborg girl your bride?!

Tauro : The war is already over and still… When is she planning to come back?

Tauro : She’s definitely forgotten about you and gone to the city for good.

Figure : Alita isn’t that type of woman !!

Tauro : Plus, she’s a cyborg and can’t bear children

Tauro : If your parents were alive, they would definitely be disappointed you know

Figure : You’re a noisy old man…

Page 8

Kid : Heeeey

Kid : The caravan is here

Figure : Oooh really (literally :I see I see)

Kid : Teach me the secret techniques too

Figure : Next time, ok?

Page 9

Woman : Figure, how’s the old man doing? (it could be translated as grand father too)

Figure : Ok (literally : yeah)

Customer : Hey, this is some special gun

Customer : Interesting

Seller : By the way, I don’t know if it’s broken or something, but there are no bullets coming out

Kid : Show me, show me!!

Seller : Its interior is completely different from normal guns as well.

Kid : Zukyuun

Page 10

Seller : It said it was the gun of the Angel of Death, so I paid a large sum of money, but it was a big failure

Customer : Hahaha, a gun that doesn’t shoot bullets wouldn’t serve even as an anchor

Kid : Ouch

Figure : Wait, show me that for a second!

Figure : This gun is indeed similar to the one Alita was using…!!
Figure : Do you know what happened to the owner of this gun?!

Seller : I… I bought it from a second-hand seller…

Seller : Wha… Whatever the case, seems it was retrieved from the equipment of the killed Angel of Death

Seller : I don’t know about the location

Page 11

Figure : You’re telling me… Alita is dead?! (thinking)

Tauro : What do you intend to do Figure

Figure : It’s obvious!!

Figure : I’m going to check this out myself

Figure : I’m sure Alita is still alive!!

Tauro : Figure…

Figure : It’s pointless to try stopping me old man

Page 12

Tauro : Use this for your travel expenses

Tauro : You just go and come back with your bride with you!!

Figure : Thank you… Master!!

Page 14

Figure : Survivors of Barjack are railway robbers now…

Barjack guy : Wai- Wait I give up!!

Page 15

Figure : Do you know something about this woman?

Barjack guy : The Angel of Death…

Barjack guy : If I remember correctly, my war buddy told me he saw her at the “Secret Weapon against Tiphares”

Figure : “Secret Weapon against Tiphares”?

Barjack guy : The cannon train Heng

Page 16

The Heng cannon train site

Page 17

Barjack guy : Can you believe it

Barjack guy : We were having an artillery fight against Tiphares that is 50km away from here.

Page 18

Barjack guy : There are no traces left of that former glory now…

Barjack guy : I don’t know what happened to the Angel of Death since I lost consciousness when the explosion occurred…

Figure : What’s wrong?

Barjack guy : All of my war buddies died here…

Barjack guy : They were all good people…

Barjack guy : Why am I the only one still alive…?

Figure : …

Page 19

Figure : Do you still hate Tiphares?

Barjack guy : …I don’t know…

Barjack guy : I’m sorry, not only was I not able to help you out, I even ended up telling you gloomy stories

Figure : Nah

Barjack guy : If you follow this rail road to the west, you’ll reach Barjack’s former headquarters “Barjack City”

Barjack guy : Maybe you’ll find some clues there, where so many people are gathered

Page 20

In the beginning, Barjack City was a small village where carriers would stop over, but as Barjack became famous, it got industrialized and is now the second most populated town after The Scrapyard.

Page 22

The boilers of the nuclear trains that Barjack had stolen were used as the main source of electricity.

Guy with hat : Yeah, I’ve seen this woman

Figure : Really?!

Guy with hat : There’s no mistake, it was just yesterday, I noticed her since she’s on this strange bike.

Figure : I knew you were still alive!!

Figure : I’m coming Alita!!

Page 23

Gr : Don’t move

Figure : To be able to get me from behind, you’re something else

Figure : But I don’t have much anyways… Would you mind getting someone else?

Gr : Answer me

Gr : Why are you looking for Alita!?

Page 24

Figure : ALITA!!

Page 25

Figure : I was searching for you Alita !!

Gr : …

Figure : What’s wrong?! It’s me! Figure !!

Gr : Fi…gure…

Gr : Help me…Figure, I’m being targeted…

Figure : What?!

Figure : Ok! You’ll give me details after! Let’s just leave this place ASAP

Page 27

Gr : She found me

Figure : What!?

[Sam]

Excellent man!!

Couple of things I've seen.

As said previously, Fogia is mentionned as "Four" in English and french translations, and his first name is "Figure" in the English version.
that is indeed Alhambra.

Page 10

Seller : It said it was the gun of the Angel of Death, so I paid a large amount of money, but it was a big failure

Page 18

Barjack guy : Why am I the only one still alive…?

Page 19
Barjack guy : I’m sorry, not only I wasn’t of any help but I even ended up telling you gloomy stories

Page 22
Guy with hat : Yeah, I’ve seen this woman

[ashod]

I should've read once again, I did this in a hurry for you guys and didn't even notice the missing words.

Hey Sam, as you said, we could use Four for the family name, and Figure for his name...
But, as I said before, Yukito could've written it differently if he wanted it to be spelled Figure.
Plus, if we don't use Figure as a first name, it doesn't make sense to stick to Four after.
Because Tauro Four wouldn't mean anything? Even if he maybe referencing to the UFC beast Minotauro. http://www.ufc.com/fighter/Minotauro-Nogueira

Anyways, I'll let you people decide how to name him. I was used to the french name 10 years ago, when I couldn't read Japanese yet.

[Sam]

Well you know I'm used to the French version too! but I'm pretty sure the guys will stick to the english names, that's for sure, at least to maintain some kind of consistency.

So the names will be Figure Four and Taurus Four in the final version. As for Zalem and jeru will be Tiphares and I don't remember the other stupid name

[HumanRage]

many thanks !

end of page 7 :

Tauro : If you’re parents wer... ===> your

[Burning Angel]

Well you know I'm used to the French version too! but I'm pretty sure the guys will stick to the english names, that's for sure, at least to maintain some kind of consistency.

So the names will be Figure Four and Taurus Four in the final version. As for Zalem and jeru will be Tiphares and I don't remember the other stupid name

Jajajajaja.... the other bullshit name is Ketheres.


Page 1

Phase.112 Gally quest 1

Gally’s lovers Fogia Foa’s journey begins // Gally’s lover Fogia Foa’s journey begins


Page 3

Fishing village of the borderland Alhambra // Fishing village of the badlands Alhambra (It's called Badlands in the Viz tranlation)


Page 10

Seller : I… I bought it from a secondhand seller… // I… I bought it from a second-hand seller…


Page 14

Fogia : Survivors of Barjack are highway robbers now… // Survivors of Barjack are railway robbers now… (I don't think there are highways in the badlands)


Page 15

Barjack guy : If I remember correctly, my war buddy told me he saw her at the “Zalem capture strategy” (this is hard to translate…) // If I remember correctly, my war buddy told me he saw her at the “Secret Weapon against Tiphares”

Fogia : Zalem capture strategy? // Secret Weapon against Tiphares? (It sound much better and is a more accurate discription: Barjack wanted to destroy Salem, not capture it)

Barjack guy : The cannon train Hengu // The cannon train Heng


Page 16

The Hengu cannon train site // The Heng cannon train site


Page 19

Barjack guy : If you follow this rail road to the west, you’ll reach Barjack’s former headquarters “Bashaku Town” // If you follow this rail road to the west, you’ll reach Barjack’s former headquarters: “Barjack City”


Page 20

Bashaku appeared at the beginning as a small village where carriers would stop over, but as Barjack became famous, it got industrialized and is now the second most populated town after Kuzutetsu. // In the beginning, Barjack City was a small village where carriers would stop over, but as Barjack became famous, it got industrialized and is now the second most populated town after The Scrapyard.


Page 22

The boilers of the nuclear trains Barjack had stolen were used as the main source of electricity. // The boilers of the nuclear trains that Barjack had stolen were used as the main source of electricity.


Page 23

Fogia : To be able to get me from behind, you’re something alright // You must be good if you can sneak up behind me

[Sergio Nova]

1. In general, it is lacking periods in the end of sentences.
2. GR stands for Gally's replicas; AR stands for Alita's ones
3. Once again, DEFEATED BY BURNING ANGEL. WTF!

Page 1
Still waiting for the return of his armored bride, Alita’s lover Figure Four’s journey begins (missing comma; character's names; singular noun)

Page 2
This story takes place 11 months before. (plural noun)

Page 3
Alhambra, fishing village near the borderland. (structure)

Page 4
Figure Four (name adopted here)

Page 5
Tauro: Ok, then. We should go to the next level!! (missing comma; affirmative sentence)

Page 6
Orya (what?)
Figure: “Choke” won’t work on a cyborg enemy, master! (missing comma)

Page 7
Tauro: Hey, Figure, you won’t change your mind about making a cyborg girl your bride?! (missing comma; character's name)
Tauro: If your parents were alive, they would definitely be disappointed, you see. (possessive; missing comma; expression)

Page 10
Figure: This gun is indeed similar to the one Alita was using…!! (structure; preposition; character's name)

Page 11
Figure: You’re telling me… Alita is dead?! (character's name)
Tauro: What do you intend to do, Figure? (missing comma; character's name, question mark)
Tauro : Figure… (character's name)
Figure: It’s pointless to try stopping me, old man! (missing comma)

Page 14
Barjack guy: Wai- Wait! I give up!! (exclamation mark)

Page 15
Figure: Do you know something about this woman? (better, I think)
Barjack guy: The cannon train Heng. (weapon name)

Page 16
The Heng cannon train site. (weapon name)

Page 17
Barjack guy: We were having an artillery fight against Tiphares that is 50km away from here. (midair city name)


Page 19
Fogia: Do you still hate Tiphares? (verbosity: still = even now; midair city name)
Barjack guy : I’m sorry. I was not only unable to help you out. I even ended up telling you gloomy stories. (structure)


Page 20
Initially Bashaku looked like a small village where carriers would stop over, but as Barjack became famous it got industrialized and is now the second most populated town after The Scrapyard. (structure; excessive commna, location name)


Page 22
Figure: I’m coming, Alita!! (missing coma; character's name)

Page 23
AR: Don’t move! (exclamation mark)
Figure: To be able to get me from behind, you’re something alright (strange clause - I at least cannot understand it well)
Figure: But I don’t have much, anyways… Would you mind getting someone else? (missing comma)
AR: Answer me! (exclamation mark)
AR: Why are you looking for Alita? (character's name)

Page 24
Figure: Alita!! (character's name)

Page 25
Figure: I was searching for you, Alita!! (missing comma; character's name)
Figue: What’s wrong?! It’s me, Figure!! (character's name)
AR: Fi… gure… (character's name)
AR: Help me…Figure, I’m being targeted…

[Sergio Nova]

Because Tauro Four wouldn't mean anything? Even if he maybe referencing to the UFC beast Minotauro. http://www.ufc.com/fighter/Minotauro-Nogueira

Minotauro is Portuguese for Minotaur. It means O touro de Minos (Minos' bull), a monster from Greek mythology.
I cannot see any relation.

[AR-99]

YK brought back some prior things that were only mentioned briefly a while back:

The town is probably Barjack City, where Sechs later mentions that Elf and Zwolf were singers.

The pistol isn't firing because of the system lock, but non-TUNED people wouldn't know about it.

[Sergio Nova]

The pistol isn't firing because of the system lock, but non-TUNED people wouldn't know about it.

Great memory. I had forgotten that completely.

[Burning Angel]

Once again, DEFEATED BY BURNING ANGEL. WTF!

Sorry dude... I guess I'm too much of a geek. But in all fairness, I wasn't the first either.

Page 3
Alhambra, fishing village near the borderland.

I'd change "borderland" for "badlands".

Page 20
Initially Bashaku looked like a small village where carriers would stop over, but as Barjack became famous it got industrialized and is now the second most populated town after The Scrapyard.

I'd change "Bashaku" for "Barjack City".


Everything else, Sergio... perfect.

[Sergio Nova]

I'd change "Bashaku" for "Barjack City".

As I am completely illiterate in that alien writing system, I cannot affirm anything, but I think the original text uses different texts to refer to the terrorist group and to the city, otherwise the translator would not be using different words.

[ashod]

Hey guys, nice work on the correction.

As Sergio said, Bashaku has no connection with Barjack (as a word). It literally means "Horse Rental". So there's a difference between Bashaku (the name of the small village) and Barjack, who used it as a base and made it grow as it developped itself.

I would also like to point out that, while your english structure/usage/understanding is better than mine (English is my 3rd language and Japanese my 5th), the freedom you're taking to give it a more natural english twist is somewhat changing the characters, their thinking and expressing pattern.

For example : To be able to get me from behind, you’re something alright // You must be good if you can sneak up behind me.

Of course I know that the flow of the second version is more natural, that's how I would write it to make it more english. But the phrase/action is loosing its momentum or whatever you want to call it.
I mean, you have to imagine this as a movie, not some text you're reading.
To be able to get me from behind...blablabla
We could change the "you're something alright" if not everyone understands the meaning.
But the order and the logic should be kept as is in my opinion, not because it's the japanese one (we could make a phrase similar to what Sergio proposed in japanese as well), but because it's part of the action.


Tell me if I'm being clear or not, but this has been something bothering me for years with people translating and adapting/changing something that gives the pace of the action.

[Burning Angel]

As I am completely illiterate in that alien writing system, I cannot affirm anything, but I think the original text uses different texts to refer to the terrorist group and to the city, otherwise the translator would not be using different words.

Yeah... but the Viz edition of BAA and BAA:LO calls the city as "Barjack City".

[Sam]

Of course I know that the flow of the second version is more natural, that's how I would write it to make it more english. But the phrase/action is loosing its momentum or whatever you want to call it.
I mean, you have to imagine this as a movie, not some text you're reading.
To be able to get me from behind...blablabla
We could change the "you're something alright" if not everyone understands the meaning.
But the order and the logic should be kept as is in my opinion, not because it's the japanese one (we could make a phrase similar to what Sergio proposed in japanese as well), but because it's part of the action.

I kind of agree about this. Indeed the text should reflect the speech of the character and not being flattened.
But as you said, and as my english understanding is not that good, the "you're something alright" might not be understandable by everyone.

[Burning Angel]

Of course I know that the flow of the second version is more natural, that's how I would write it to make it more english. But the phrase/action is loosing its momentum or whatever you want to call it.
I mean, you have to imagine this as a movie, not some text you're reading.
To be able to get me from behind...blablabla
We could change the "you're something alright" if not everyone understands the meaning.
But the order and the logic should be kept as is in my opinion, not because it's the japanese one (we could make a phrase similar to what Sergio proposed in japanese as well), but because it's part of the action.

It's your call. You have the last word... If you understand the context and speech patterns of the characters, then I'm fine with it.

[Sergio Nova]

Yeah... but the Viz edition of BAA and BAA:LO calls the city as "Barjack City".

Now I have to agree. It is a case of simple consistency. As ashod has just made clear, the name refers to Barjack's base city - and, yes, that was already named Barjack City.

[Burning Angel]

Now I have to agree. It is a case of simple consistency. As ashod has just made clear, the name refers to Barjack's base city - and, yes, that was already named Barjack City.

I must apologize for this confusion. I should have mentioned this bit of info earlier. Sorry.

[Lemonlol]

First thing : Thank you for your translation ! Greatly appreciated, in these times of need.

But I don't think we can release ch112 without releasing ch111 before. So, don't worry if there's no ch112 released before quite some time, with your script . We're not that snobby !

[ashod]

Ok, I made the corrections you've suggested, about 90% of them.

Sergio, you put some exclamation mark at the end when AR is giving orders to Figure.
But in the japanese version, she's not yelling or anything. She's just giving orders in a a very cold manner, because she has the gun and the advantage.

Hey Lemonlol, no problem. I've helped a few years ago, I know no ones snobby here. We're just Gally/Alita fans, trying to make it more accessible for everyone.
I'll try to crack phase 111, but no promises, I don't know if and when I'll be able to do it...

[Sergio Nova]

Sergio, you put some exclamation mark at the end when AR is giving orders to Figure.
But in the japanese version, she's not yelling or anything. She's just giving orders in a a very cold manner, because she has the gun and the advantage.

Right, but let me observe two points.


1. I will not comment Japanese grammar, but European languages demand the usage of punctuation in the end of the sentences.

The same way, an exclamation mark is not a reference to yell, but to exclamations, simply, even in low voice.

2. I have always understood the usage of commas as something too obvious, besides necessary, but the real world has shown me it is not that simple, once people do despise that punctuation symbol. Also, the usage is the same in any language I know.

For example, in the clause “Choke” won’t work on a cyborg enemy Master!, the lack of comma makes sense only if you are referring to a cyborg enemy Master, whatever that thing is. If you are using a vocative, the comma is the only possible way of making that clear.

Again, in the clause I'm coming Alita, either the speaker is suffering a transformation into the referred character or the comma is necessary.


It is my stubbornness, indeed, but I have never understood the strong resistance to such an easy and important symbol.

[ashod]

I agree with all that you've said about the comma.
I'm still thinking about the difference between :
Don't move!
and
Don't move

Maybe changing it to "Don't make a move" would make it clearer without the usage of "!".

Meh, I don't know

[Sam]

1. I will not comment Japanese grammar, but European languages demand the usage of punctuation in the end of the sentences.

The same way, an exclamation mark is not a reference to yell, but to exclamations, simply, even in low voice.

I do not agree about that part! If I take the example of french language which is also European languages, an exclamation mark at the end of the sentence always asks for an up tone while ending the sentence which can hardly be done in low voice.

[Sergio Nova]

I do not agree about that part! If I take the example of french language which is also European languages, an exclamation mark at the end of the sentence always asks for an up tone while ending the sentence which can hardly be done in low voice.

Je ne parle pas français, mais…

Imagine a situation in which you are angry with someone but due to the place where you are (a church, a funeral, hiding from the police, etc) you are not going to speak in loud voice. Imagine you want to say I don't know! in an emphatic manner. You'll be using an emphatic tone, but still in low voice, in an exclamatory tone, and exclamatory tones require exclamation marks. It is that simple in Portuguese, Spanish, Catalan, English, French, German, Greek, Russian and so on.

[Sergio Nova]

I'm still thinking about the difference between :
Don't move!
and
Don't move

The exclamation mark is a grammar point but, anyway, it is not a canon (neither a cannon, certainly). As you must have seen, Sam, for example, disagrees. That said, it is better to write Don't make a move. instead of changing the clause. We can allege that the intention of making an exclamation is relative.
As to the comma, no negotiation is possible, as far as I know.